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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29103267">i didn’t mean to say it</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsukkibaby/pseuds/tsukkibaby'>tsukkibaby</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Fluff, Fluffy Ending, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Internal Conflict, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, One Shot, Pining</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 13:49:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,328</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29103267</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsukkibaby/pseuds/tsukkibaby</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Tsukishima Kei struggles to keep his feelings under control as he falls deeper and deeper in love with his best friend.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hinata Shouyou &amp; Kageyama Tobio, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>54</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i didn’t mean to say it</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>We took the same route home from practice that we do every day. It was nothing new, nothing special. I could hear the crickets chirping from somewhere close by as the gravel crunched under our feet. Tadashi was walking slightly behind me, as he always did. My heart was pounding, as it always was when I was around him, but I was careful not to let that show on my face. I could never let it show. We were almost at Tadashi’s front door, so I was just about to say my goodbyes and turn around to go home.</p><p>“Tsukki...”</p><p>His voice startled me. He hadn’t said anything the whole way home.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“I...” He paused, a conflicted expression spreading across his face. “I think you should stop walking me home for a while.”</p><p>What?<br/>
Had he figured it out?<br/>
Was I done for?</p><p>“Fine.” I said, using my blank expression to hide the pain deep in my heart. I turned around to leave, suddenly facing him. “I’m going home now.”</p><p>“W-Wait! Tsukki!” Tadashi called after me as I passed by him and began my walk back to my house.</p><p>“What?” I asked, turning back around.</p><p>“I just... I didn’t mean for it to sound mean... it’s just that... my parents are starting to say things about us.” He was looking down at the ground, fidgeting with his hands.</p><p>“What kinds of things?”</p><p>“Like... that it’s weird that you walk me home everyday. Like I’m a girl who can’t take care of myself or something.”</p><p>“So what? You don’t need to be able to take care of yourself. I’m right here.”</p><p>He seemed taken aback by my words. I wonder if I maybe pushed it too far.</p><p>“But I can’t just rely on you forever, you know.” He replied, furrowing his brow.</p><p>I don’t know why those words seemed to hurt me so badly. They were true, after all.</p><p>I sighed, pushing up my glasses. “Fine, whatever. Do what you want.” I said, turning away and heading back the way we came.</p><p>I heard a small voice behind me.</p><p>“Sorry, Tsukki.”</p><p> </p><p>~~~~~</p><p> </p><p>The next day at practice, Tadashi seemed really out of it. He was a lot slower than usual, and he had really dark circles under his eyes. It looked like he had stayed up all night. As he was practicing his jump float serve, his foot slipped out from under him, and he landed on his back with a loud thud.</p><p>“Oh my god, Yamaguchi! Are you okay?!” Sugawara rushed to his side. “Does anything hurt?”</p><p>“Ugh yeah... my ankle. I think I twisted it.” He groaned, clutching his ankle in pain.</p><p>“Okay let me help you up, Daichi come help me!” Sugawara and Daichi helped Tadashi to his feet and led him off to the nurses office.</p><p>About ten minutes later, Sugawara and Daichi returned with news from the nurse.</p><p>“Looks like his ankle is sprained. He won’t be able to practice for about a week or two.” Daichi announced to the team who had all gathered around, anxious to hear about how Tadashi was doing. Everyone looked worried, but I couldn’t stand being in that gym any longer. I grabbed my bag and started heading towards the nurses office.</p><p>“Hey, Tsukishima! Where are you going?! We still have to practice!” Hinata was calling after me, but I didn’t care. I only had one thing on my mind.</p><p>“Just let him go, it’s fine.” I heard Daichi say.</p><p> </p><p>When I got to the nurses office, Tadashi was lying in one of the beds, an icepack resting on his swollen ankle. He looked like he was sleeping, eyes closed, breathing evenly and steadily. I sat on the chair next to the bed and watched him for a second. I reached up to brush the hair on his face away from his eyes, when they suddenly fluttered open.</p><p>“Oh! Um... Hi, Tsukki” Tadashi said, pulling himself up into a sitting position on the bed.</p><p>“Oh... You’re awake.” I whispered, looking down at the ground as I could feel my face growing hot with embarrassment.</p><p>“Are you feeling okay?” I asked flatly, finally able to meet his eyes.</p><p>“Yeah, I’m okay.” He said, although he had a look in his eyes I didn’t like.</p><p>“So what’s wrong with you today?” I questioned. It wouldn’t do me any good to avoid asking for much longer.</p><p>“W-What? Nothing! I’m fine, really!” He answered a little too enthusiastically. He could tell I didn’t believe him, because he refused to meet my gaze after he spoke.</p><p>“Right, well.... if there’s anything...” I started, trying to gather up the courage to be at least a little more comforting than usual. “If there’s anything wrong, you know you can tell me, right?” </p><p>“...Yeah, I know.” He replied, a sad smile forming on his face.</p><p>Why was that smile so sad?</p><p> </p><p>~~~~~</p><p> </p><p>Tadashi refused to let me walk him home after school, despite his hurt ankle. I figured he wouldn’t let me no matter what I said, so I didn’t press the matter any further. I entered my dark room, turning on the lamp on my desk. Warm orange light bathed my room, casting eerie shadows on my wall. I flopped into bed, feeling drained from the long day.</p><p> </p><p>I woke up suddenly with a start. When did I even fall asleep? My lamp light was off now. I guess my mom came in and turned it off for me. I glanced at the clock on my beside table. It read 4:27 AM. I rolled over onto my back, feeling myself fully wake up now. </p><p>I wanted to see him.<br/>
I wanted to see Tadashi.</p><p>I considered calling him. But no, I couldn’t do that. That wasn’t like me. Besides, he was sleeping anyway. I stared at my ceiling in the dark. My mind began to wander as I laid there in silence.</p><p>What was wrong with Tadashi these days? He wasn’t the type to keep things from me. If there were problems at home or something going on at school, he’d always tell me, even if I didn’t have any words of comfort for him. So what was going on? What was so bad that he couldn’t even tell me?</p><p>But I guess I’m not one to talk. I’ve never been open with him, about anything really. Even the incident with my brother wasn’t something I talked about with him. Why am I thinking about this now, anyway? What does it matter? It doesn’t change how things are.</p><p>But...<br/>
What if I was open?<br/>
What if I... told him how I felt?</p><p>I sighed, rolling over onto my side. Was I insane? No way was I ever going to tell him. No way. Not ever. I wasn’t... going to....</p><p>Hold on.<br/>
Could it be me?</p><p>Was he being distant because he didn’t want me around anymore? What if he figured out how I felt about him? He’s probably disgusted by me. I mean, we are both guys, after all. Of course that would freak him out. How could I be so stupid? How could I even consider telling him how I felt?</p><p>Yeah. He probably wants his space from me now. He did tell me to stop walking him home. He doesn’t want me around anymore.</p><p>He doesn’t... want me.</p><p>I curled up into a ball as a burning pain in my chest overtook me.</p><p> </p><p>~~~~~</p><p> </p><p>A week and a half later, Tadashi got the OK to come back to practice from the nurse. I hadn’t talked to him that whole time. I tried to keep my distance from him, despite how much I longed to be near him, to feel his presence. As I was walking out of the changing room, I bumped into someone. Looking down, I saw a freckled face staring back up at me.</p><p>“Oh... Sorry, Tsukki. I didn’t mean-“</p><p>“It’s fine.” I snapped, moving past him into the gym. Damnit, I didn’t mean to sound so aggressive. Shit. I messed that up.</p><p> </p><p>After practice, I quickly changed and started heading home. </p><p>“Tsukki! Hold on!” I turned around and was met with a breathless Tadashi running after me. “Wow, you’re fast” He huffed, hands on his knees attempting to catch his breath.</p><p>“What is it?” I asked, trying to keep my voice level as I noticed I could see inside his shirt as he bent over. I stared for a second before coming to my senses. What was I? Some kind of perv? “Did you want something?” I asked, looking away to avoid his eyes out of embarrassment. </p><p>“Yeah... Hold on... Ahhh I’m so tired” He was still trying to catch his breath. Finally he stood up straight and looked at me. I was caught off guard by the sudden eye contact and looked away.</p><p>“Can you walk me home today?” He asked me, a meek smile dancing across his face.</p><p>What?<br/>
But I thought...</p><p>“What about your parents?” I asked, trying to suppress the smile that threatened to play on my lips.</p><p>“Oh... that...” he said, suddenly looking down at the ground with a solemn expression. </p><p>“I-I don’t care. Just walk me home, okay? I feel like we haven’t talked in forever. I... missed you.” He was looking away, but I could see his face becoming a dark scarlet color.</p><p>I was blushing too.</p><p>“Yeah, okay. Let’s go then.” I turned around and started walking in the direction of Tadashi’s house, a small smile forming on my face.</p><p> </p><p>~~~~~</p><p> </p><p>It was dark now, and we were nearly at Tadashi’s house. He was walking behind me, as usual. But now... I wanted him by my side. I stopped and turned around to face him. He looked up and stared at me, his face plastered with confusion. </p><p>“What?” He asked, looking at me with that freckled face of his.</p><p>“I’m in love with you.”</p><p>Shit... Did I just...</p><p>“...What?” Tadashi was looking at me with an expression I couldn’t read. Was he upset? Disgusted? Afraid? Confused? Did he think I was joking?</p><p>“Tadashi!” A voice from behind me called. Before I turned around I caught a glimpse of Tadashi’s expression turn into one of horror.</p><p>His dad was standing there, watching us.</p><p>“Did I just hear what I thought I heard? What are you two, a couple of gays?”</p><p>“What?! No, Dad he was kidding! It was a joke!” Tadashi rushed past me to meet his father. “Let’s go inside!” </p><p>He pushed his dad inside their house, leaving me standing out on the dark street alone.</p><p>I just...<br/>
I promised myself I’d never say it out loud.<br/>
So why couldn’t I stop myself?</p><p> </p><p>~~~~~</p><p> </p><p>The next few days were hell. Tadashi wouldn’t even look at me in school, and during practice he’d only interact with me if he absolutely had to. Not that I blamed him. What did I expect, really? </p><p>After practice as I was getting ready to leave, I heard a voice calling after me. In the back of my mind, I was hoping it would be Tadashi. As i turned around, I was met with Hinata running after me, Kageyama trailing behind him. Of course, why would he come after me? After what I did?</p><p>“Hey! What’s wrong with you?!” Hinata yelled, pointing at me.</p><p>“Idiot, you can’t just say that!” Kageyama elbowed him in the ribs and turned to face me. </p><p>“So what is wrong with you though? You seem out of it these days. Yamaguchi too. Did you guys have a fight?” Kageyama was looking at me weird, like he actually expected me to answer him.</p><p>“Why would I tell you something like that?” I retorted.</p><p>“Well I guess you wouldn’t, but honestly we consider you and Yamaguchi to be our friends.” Hinata jumped in.</p><p>I snorted, “Yeah, right.” I wasn’t in the mood to deal with these two morons today. I began to walk away before Hinata grabbed my shirt to stop me.</p><p>“Hold on a second... come get a snack with us.” He asked, but his eyes basically told me I had no choice.</p><p>“Ugh whatever, fine. But you’re buying.” </p><p>“Okay!” </p><p>He dragged me along with him while Kageyama walked behind us.</p><p> </p><p>After getting snacks, we walked the gravel path eating our food. Kageyama finally broke the silence, saying “So, Hinata and I are together.”</p><p>I wasn’t that surprised to hear the news. Still, it was interesting that he came out and said it so nonchalantly. </p><p>“Wow, I’m shocked.” I said in a sarcastic tone.</p><p>“When I told my parents...” He started “They threatened to disown me.” He stopped in the middle of the road, looking at me with an intense, serious gaze.</p><p>“I was terrified. I mean, they’re my family, after all. What am I supposed to do without them?” He was looking at his shoes now, playing with the empty snack wrapper between his hands.</p><p>“They told me I was disgusting, and that they didn’t raise me to be like this... to be gay.” His voice started to shake. </p><p>It was weird. Normally, Kageyama was a fairly stoic guy, and here he was breaking down right in front of me.</p><p>“I was certain they were going to kick me out. And then what? Where was I supposed to go? What was I supposed to do?” He was crying now, tears flowing down his face in a steady stream.</p><p>“But... I was honest. They didn’t accept me for who I am. But at least they know who I am.” His tears were beginning to subside.</p><p>He was now looking at me straight in the face, puffy red eyes and all. “Hinata means the world to me. I told my parents because I’m the happiest with Hinata than I’ve ever been in my life. And I wanted them to know that. And now they do.”</p><p>Hinata walked over to Kageyama, handing him a tissue and rubbing his back comfortingly. I balled my fists and stared at the ground.</p><p>“I... told Tadashi that I’m in love with him.” I said in a small voice. They both looked over at me, eyes wide.</p><p>“But his dad... heard me. And he didn’t exactly have an accepting attitude about it.”</p><p>Hinata looked up at me with those big brown eyes. “What about Tadashi? What did he say?”</p><p>“I didn’t have the chance to ask, and I haven’t been able to face him since then.” </p><p>“Hm...” Hinata thought for a moment. “I think you should talk things out with him. I have a feeling this will work out.”</p><p>“Yeah, like I’d trust your feelings.” I scoffed, continuing on the gravel path. </p><p>“Seriously, just talk to him.” Kageyama piped up, having calmed down from crying.</p><p>“...Yeah.” I said.</p><p> </p><p>As we went to split up to walk to our own respective houses, I worked up the courage to say something.</p><p>“Hey. Thank you guys, I guess.” I was looking away, not wanting to feel any more embarrassed than I already was.</p><p>“Huh?! Did Tsukishima just say thank you?! Did you here that Kageyama?!” Hinata exclaimed, amused at how out of character I was acting.</p><p>“Tch, whatever. I’m leaving.” I turned to walk to my house.</p><p>“Hey...!” Kageyama called after me. “Um... I hope things work out okay for you and Yamaguchi.” He looked genuine, like he really meant it.</p><p>“Yeah, me too.” I muttered, turning and walking back down the path.</p><p>I walked a couple steps before I turned around again, looking after Hinata and Kageyama.</p><p>Kageyama had his arm wrapped around the smaller boy, and they were looking at each other with the warmest expressions I’d ever seen them wear.</p><p>I wanted to be like that too.</p><p>I continued down the path to my house. ”That was... really nice.” I said, smiling to myself.</p><p> </p><p>~~~~~</p><p> </p><p>No matter what, I need to talk to him today. It has to be today. It has to be.</p><p>Practice ended and I watched Tadashi as he began to pack up his stuff and leave. As he walked out of the gym, I called after him.</p><p>“Tadashi!” I yelled. I saw him flinch in response to me calling him, and he slowly turned around, but didn’t look me in the eyes.</p><p>“Can I talk to you for a bit?” I asked, making sure not to let my nervousness show.</p><p>“Uh... actually, I-“</p><p>“Please...” I begged. “Just for a bit.”</p><p>He looked up at me, probably noticing the desperation in my eyes. </p><p>“Okay.”</p><p> </p><p>We sat on a bench in the park. I didn’t offer to walk him home because I figured he wouldn’t want me near his house, after what happened last time.</p><p>“Um...” I finally spoke up. He jumped slightly at the sound of my voice. </p><p>“So the other day... when I told you...”</p><p>“Tsukki.” He interrupted.</p><p>I was caught off guard. I wasn’t expecting him to say anything at all, honestly.</p><p>“Please... please don’t.” His voice was trembling, and his hands were shaking in his lap.</p><p>“You saw how my dad was. Just, please. Don’t.”</p><p>I should’ve known. Why would it be this easy?</p><p>“Right... yeah, okay.” I attempted to hide the disappointment in my voice, but I don’t think I did a very good job.</p><p>Tadashi stood up, not looking at me.</p><p>“Sorry, Tsukki.”</p><p>He walked away without a second glance.</p><p>I sat on the bench for a minute. I sighed and buried my head in my hands.</p><p>I should’ve known.</p><p> </p><p>~~~~~</p><p> </p><p>It’s been a month. </p><p>A long, depressing, terrible month.</p><p>I haven’t talked to Tadashi since that day in the park. I watch him at school and at practice, not daring to get any closer to him than that.</p><p>I miss him.</p><p>Maybe I’ll just go home today instead of going to practice. Yeah, I think I’ll just do that. When school is over, instead of heading to the changing room like I normally would, I walk through the front entrance with the rest of the students. I was planning on going home, and yet, somehow as I walked I found myself standing outside of Tadashi’s house. He’s at practice. He’s not even here, so why did I come? I can’t think of a reason, but I also can’t get myself to leave. After some back and forth, I decide to sit down on the sidewalk in front of his house. </p><p>What am I doing? What if his parents catch me here?</p><p>I don’t know, and it doesn’t matter. All I want is to see him, just once.</p><p>I hear the sound of footsteps approaching, and look up from the ground. Tadashi is coming up the road and staring at me with a confused look on his face.</p><p>“...What’re you doing here?” He asks me, stopping a good couple feet away from me.</p><p>“I wanted to see you. And I know you told me not to, but I have to tell you. I-“</p><p>“Tsukki.” He interrupts me again.</p><p>I steel myself for his words telling me to go back home.</p><p>“Come inside. Let’s talk inside.”</p><p>Huh?</p><p>“But what about-“</p><p>“My parents are out. They went on a trip for a week.” </p><p>“Oh.. Okay.”</p><p>I follow him inside as he opens the door. We walk up the stairs to his room, and he softly shuts the door behind us.</p><p>“Before you start, I have something to say.” Tadashi says, fumbling with his hands.</p><p>“My parents are really homophobic, as you’ve probably figured out. So after my dad caught us that last time, he made it very clear you weren’t welcome here anymore.”</p><p>I had put that together already, but it still hurt to hear. Tadashi and I are childhood friends, after all. I’ve known his parents for years.</p><p>“And that time in the park, when you were trying to tell me what you meant, I stopped you because I knew that if i heard you say it again, I wouldn’t be able to...”</p><p>I looked up. Tadashi had his hand covering his mouth as his whole body shook with the force of his sobs. I immediately walked over and embraced him, trying my best to calm him down. His hand grabbed onto my shirt as he continued.</p><p>“If I heard you say it again, I wouldn’t be able to push you away.” He finally choked out.</p><p>What?<br/>
Push me away?</p><p>“I... I love you, Tsukki. I love you so much it hurts.”</p><p>I pulled back from Tadashi and lifted his chin so that he was looking into my eyes.</p><p>“Tadashi.” I said. I leaned down and met his lips with mine. The kiss was soft and warm, just like he was. After a second I pulled away, not wanting to overwhelm him. Tadashi let out a frustrated noise, and pulled me back to him. He kissed me harder this time, almost as if he was afraid I’d run away. After some time, we separated, the both of us out of breath.</p><p>“Stay.” He begged me. “Stay here tonight.”</p><p>“I will.” I obliged. We fell asleep together on his bed, basking in each other’s warmth.</p><p>It was perfect.</p><p> </p><p>~~~~~</p><p> </p><p>It was Saturday morning, and I woke up next to Tadashi. I’d dreamed of something like this for so many years, and now it was real. I couldn’t believe it.</p><p>Tadashi looked like an angel while he slept. His hair fell softly against his face, and his freckles looked beautiful in the morning light. I reached out a hand and stroked his cheek.</p><p>Tadashi... was mine.<br/>
I felt a smile form across my face as I stared at him. </p><p>I don’t know how long I laid like that, but after some time Tadashi awoke, smiling at me lazily.</p><p>“Goodmorning, beautiful.” I said before I could stop myself. </p><p>Tadashi smiled and laughed “So this is what you’re like huh, all sappy and stuff.” He shuffled closer to me and laid his head on my chest.</p><p>“Yeah, but only with you.” I said, hoping he couldn’t hear the sound of my racing heart.</p><p>“Good.” He said “Only me...” </p><p> </p><p>~~~~~</p><p> </p><p>We spent the next week hanging out every day. I’d come over to his house after practice, and we’d spend the day together until it got late and I had to go back home. It the best week of my life.</p><p>“Tsukki.”</p><p>Tadashi called my name as he was laying with his head on my chest, playing with my fingers in his hand.</p><p>“My parents come back from their trip tomorrow.”</p><p>Oh yeah, his parents. I frowned “What should we do?” I asked. I didn’t care whether he wanted to tell his parents or hide our being together, whatever he wanted was what we would do. I just hope what he wanted wouldn’t get him hurt.</p><p>“I think... I want to tell them about us.” He said. He tilted his head up to look at my face. “What about you? What do you want to do?” His freckled face staring up at me.</p><p>“I’m okay with anything, as long as you’re happy.” I said, my face beginning to turn red.</p><p>“There you go again, being such a sap, Tsukki.” Tadashi laughed. I loved that sound.</p><p>“Yeah.” I replied, closing my eyes and savoring the feeling of Tadashi’s warmth on my chest.</p><p> </p><p>~~~~~</p><p> </p><p>The next day, Tadashi and I walked up to his house after practice. We stood outside of the house, Tadashi nibbling on his botttom lip nervously.</p><p>“Hey” I said, catching his attention. “If you’re not ready, we really don’t have to tell them.” I didn’t want Tadashi to push himself, especially when I was sure what the outcome of this conversation would be.</p><p>“I know how my parents are and how they’ll take it. But... I want them to know. You don’t have to come in with me if you don’t want to.” He said, not looking me in the eyes.</p><p>“The hell? Obviously I’m coming with you. You really think I’d let you do something like this by yourself?” I asked, confused as to why he’d even say something like that.</p><p>“Of course not.” He chuckled, shaking his head. “That’s why I love you.” He moved closer, planting a soft kiss on my lips. I wanted more, but we were right outside his house, and the last thing we needed right now was for his parents to catch us kissing.</p><p>Tadashi unlocked the front door and we stepped inside. </p><p>“I’m home!” Tadashi called.</p><p>“Oh Tadashi!” His mother appeared in the hallway, coming over to greet us. “And Tsukishima! It’s so good to see you! I feel like you haven’t come over in so long.”</p><p>“Yeah.” I replied, giving her a small smile. I wonder how she’ll feel when we tell her.</p><p>“Oi, is that Tadashi?” I heard a man’s voice call out from the living room. Tadashi’s father’s voice.</p><p>“Yes, and Tsukishima’s with him too!” His mother replied back. </p><p>I heard a grunt in reply. Good to see you too, old man.</p><p>“Anyway, you boys go sit in the kitchen. I’ll prepare some snacks for you.” Mrs. Yamaguchi led the way to the kitchen as she went to the fridge.</p><p>“Actually Mom, Tsukki and I have something to talk with you and Dad about.” Tadashi said hesitantly, looking at me out of the corner of his eye.</p><p>“Oh? Well hold on just a moment, let me get your father.” She left the kitchen and set off for the living room.</p><p>She was back in a minute, Tadashi’s dad trailing behind her. </p><p>“What’s all this about?” He asked, his tone clearly expressing annoyance. We were all sat around the dinner table now, me next to Tadashi and his parents across from us.</p><p>“Um... right” Tadashi began “So the things is... Tsukki and I....”</p><p>“Ugh, out with it already.” Tadashi’s dad huffed.</p><p>Tadashi looked at me, his eyes begging me to say what he couldn’t.</p><p>“Tadashi and I are dating.” I said in a monotonous tone. I was nervous too, but I made sure to seem relaxed because I knew that would calm Tadashi.</p><p>His dad snorted, “Oh yeah?”</p><p>The room was silent. I swear I could hear my own heartbeat.</p><p>Tadashi’s dad got up from the table, the chair squeaking behind him.</p><p>“Fucking disgusting” I heard him say under his breath, although it wasn’t like he was trying to be quiet about it. He left the room, not saying anything. I glanced at Tadashi. He was pulling at his fingers in his lap, his head down. I looked over at his mom. She was looking down at the table, her hands were folded and her lips pursed.</p><p>“...For how long?” She finally asked.</p><p>“A week.” I answered quickly. I couldn’t read the expression on her face, and it was forming a knot in my stomach.</p><p>“Hm. Tsukishima.” She said.</p><p>I was started by the sudden use of my name. “Yes?” I replied.</p><p>“I think it’s best you don’t come over anymore.”</p><p>I had expected as much, so this didn’t come as a surprise to me. “Okay.” I said.</p><p>“As for the relationship between the two of you... good for you.” She said. We both looked at her, stunned. If there was one thing I wasn’t expecting to hear today, it was that.</p><p>“I’m sorry?” I asked. I couldn’t possibly fathom what she was trying to say right now.</p><p>“I said, good for you.” She repeated. “You two seem like a good fit for each other.” She said, a small smile spreading across her face.</p><p>What? Was she... okay with us?</p><p>“Uh.. Thank you.” I said, completely lost for words.</p><p>“I know my husband doesn’t share the same views that I do, however, I don’t have hate in my heart for anyone. You shouldn’t come over anymore, but I’d be happy to let Tadashi stay over at your house instead. It’s just that... with my husband here, I’m afraid it would only serve to hurt you both.” She said, looking sorry as she glanced towards the kitchen doorway.</p><p>“Tadashi” She called, finally addressing her son directly. He looked up, tears in his eyes.</p><p>“Are you really... okay with us? With me?” He asked in a trembling voice. </p><p>“My baby...” She cooed, standing up and moving around to Tadashi’s side of the table. “I love you no matter what. Your life if your business, who am I to interfere with things like this? Unless, of course, this young man here isn’t treating you right, and then I’d have to interfere.” She shot me a stern look. Tadashi laughed, sniffing and wiping the tears from his face.</p><p>“Thank you, Mom.” He hugged her tight, squeezing her for a long time.</p><p> </p><p>~~~~~</p><p> </p><p>“You have everything you need, right?” Tadashi’s mom asked once again.</p><p>“Yeah, I have all my stuff. Bye, Mom!” Tadashi waved as we left through the front door. Tadashi and his mom decided that for tonight, it would be best if he stayed over at my place instead of at home, where the atmosphere was still tense.</p><p>After some time, we arrived at my house, and I got out my house key and unlocked the door. My mom greeted us as we walked inside. We said hello and then made our way up to my room.</p><p>“Ughhhhh” Tadashi groaned as he flopped face first onto my bed. “That was exhausting.” He sighed and scooted over to make room for me. </p><p>“Yeah.” I replied, sliding into the bed next to him.</p><p>“That went a lot better than I thought.” He said. “I thought for sure my dad was going to start screaming and cussing us out.”</p><p>“Me too.” I agreed. I pulled Tadashi close to me, wrapping my arms his shoulders.</p><p>“And my mom... I wasn’t expecting that at all.” He said. He began tracing circles on my chest with his fingertips.</p><p>“Me either.” I said, closing my eyes and enjoying the feeling of Tadashi in my arms.</p><p>“Tsukki...” He started, trailing off as he laid his palm flat against my chest.</p><p>“Hm?” I hummed, feeling myself starting to drift off.</p><p>“What about your mom and brother?” Tadashi asked. “Do you... want to tell them too?”</p><p>I thought for a moment before answering. Honestly I’d never considered telling them, but since Tadashi’s parents know, why not tell them? </p><p>“Yeah. I think we should tell them.” I answered. I leaned down a bit to kiss the top of his head.</p><p>“Okay.” He replied. I could hear the smile in his voice.</p><p>“I’m tired.” I said. “Let’s go to sleep.”</p><p>“Wha- Already?!” Tadashi propped himself up on his elbow so he could look me in the eye. </p><p>“..Yeah? Why, did you want to do something?” I asked, looking at him.</p><p>“Yeah.. I did.” He whispered, his gaze falling from from my eyes to my lips.</p><p>Oh. That’s what he wanted.</p><p>I pulled his head towards me, catching his lips between mine as my hands moved down to grip his waist. I pulled him on top of me as I  began to kiss him more deeply. All of our other kisses had been soft and sweet, but this was passionate and hungry. I pulled away for a moment, and Tadashi looked disappointed until I flipped us over so that I was on top of him. We joined our lips again, kissing frantically as I pressed my body up against his.  His arm curled up around the back of my neck, bringing us even closer. We were both breathing heavily, but neither of us dared to pull away. I snaked my hand underneath Tadashi’s shirt, his skin hot against my cool hand. I felt him flinch underneath my touch. I was just about to ask him to take his shirt off when I heard my door open. </p><p>Hey, Kei-“ My brother entered the room suddenly. He looked at me on top of Tadashi, my hand still underneath his shirt and his arm still hooked around my neck.</p><p>“Oh.. Umm... I-“ He stuttered.</p><p>“Get. Out.” I growled, annoyed by his intrusive entrance.  </p><p>“Right, yeah.” He mumbled as he backed out of the room awkwardly.</p><p>I sighed, pulling myself up off of Tadashi. I got up and walked to my door, “Stay here. I’ll be back in a second.”</p><p>“Yeah..” Tadashi answered, face flushed from embarrassment.</p><p>I left the room and went to find my brother. He was sitting on the couch in the living room downstairs, my mom on the other side. They were watching TV together.</p><p>“I have something to say.” I announced. Both of them looked up at me. My brother looked down quickly and I saw him try to cover his smile with his hand.</p><p>“Right so... I’m dating Tadashi now.” I felt nervous, but I also knew what kind of answer to expect from my family. </p><p>My mother opened her mouth for a second before closing it again quickly. She smiled as she looked up at me. “You be good to him.” She said. </p><p>“Well, yeah.” I said. Why wouldn’t I be good to him? I love him.</p><p>My brother tried to stifle a laugh as he looked at me. “Have fun... but not too much fun!” He started laughing to himself.</p><p>“Yeah, whatever.” I rolled my eyes and started to walk away.</p><p>“Kei?” My mom called after me. I turned around to look at her.</p><p>“I love you. And I’m so very proud of you.” She gave me a genuine smile.</p><p>“..Thanks, Mom.” I said, smiling at her.</p><p>“Oh and... knock before coming into my room.” That made my brother laugh even harder. I ignored him and walked back to my room.</p><p>I entered the room and shut the door softly behind me. Tadashi was sitting on the edge of my bed, face still red.</p><p>“What were you doing?” He asked as I sat down next to him on the bed. </p><p>“Telling my mom and brother about us.” I said flatly.</p><p>“What?!” He yelled, looking worried. “Why didn’t you tell me? How was it?”</p><p>“Calm down,” I said, wrapping my arm around his waist and pulling him towards me. “It went really well. They’re completely okay with it.”</p><p>“Really? That’s good.” His voice sounded relieved.</p><p>“Yeah.” I agreed. “I’m worn out, Yams. Let’s go to bed.”</p><p>“Yams?” He asked, looking amused.</p><p>“Yeah. That’s your nickname now. It’s cute.”</p><p>“If you say so.” He lied back on the bed, motioning for me to join him.</p><p>As I laid down with him, the warmth of our bodies together lulled me to sleep like a lullaby.</p><p> </p><p>~~~~~</p><p> </p><p>A few days later as we made our way to practice, Tadashi asked me a question.</p><p>“Should we tell the team about us, too?” </p><p>I was confused. Who cares if the team knew? It’s not like there’d been any change in the way we played.</p><p>“Well I’m not against it, but why do you want to?” I asked, genuinely curious.</p><p>“It’s just that... they’re basically like our second family, you know... I just feel like they should know.” </p><p>I considered this for a moment. If this is what Yams wanted, then I certainly had no problem with it.</p><p>“Yeah, okay. Let’s tell them.” I said.</p><p>“Really?! Okay!” Yams looked really happy, and that’s all I could ever ask for.</p><p> </p><p>After practice was over, Yams called called all the team members over, saying he had an announcement. Everyone looked pretty confused, not that I’d blame them. It was pretty rare for Tadashi to take the initiative like this.</p><p>“Okay so... Um...” Yams began to fidget with his hands nervously. He looked up at me with those pleading eyes again, too nervous to say it himself.</p><p>“Tadashi and I are dating.” I said calmly as I turned back to face the team.</p><p>Everyone was smiling. But they looked weird...</p><p>“Was that supposed to be a surprise or something?” Tanaka laughed “Literally anyone could’ve seen this coming.”</p><p>He was met with a swift slap against the back of his head from Sugawara.</p><p>“Congrats, you guys!” Sugawara said, a bright smile on his face. “We’re all really happy for you.”</p><p>Tanaka was still rubbing the back of his head when he said “Yeah, congrats. Now all that’s left is for Kageyama and Hinata to admit they’re together already.”</p><p>Both boys looked flustered as they struggled to find the words to defend themselves. All of the other team members laughed and continued to congratulate Yams and I on getting together. It was nice. Having a team full of people like this was... really nice.</p><p>Yams looked up at me with warm eyes full of happiness.</p><p>Yeah. This was good.</p><p> </p><p>~~~~~</p><p> </p><p>Instead of walking to Tadashi’s house as we had for so many years, we instead walked together to my house. </p><p>And instead of Yams walking slightly behind me as he had for so many years, he was instead right next to me, holding my hand.</p><p>When we finally reached my house, we entered, said hello to my mother, and made our way up to my room.</p><p>We sat down on the bed together and situated ourselves in a position that had become second nature to us. I laid on my back, arms wrapped around Tadashi’s shoulders as he laid his head on my chest.</p><p>I closed my eyes, once again being completely engulfed in the warmth of Yams pressed against me.</p><p>“Tsukki.”</p><p>I opened my eyes to see Yams looking up at me.</p><p>“What?” I asked in a soft voice.</p><p>“I love you. So much. You mean everything to me.” Tadashi was looking at me with the most beautiful face I had ever seen.</p><p>I leaned down to kiss him, gripping him tight as though he might slip through my fingers. I pulled away but kept my forehead pressed against his.</p><p>“Yams,” I said “I love you. More than I could ever say.” I kissed him again. </p><p>Yams was looking at me again, his freckled face shining bright as he smiled widely.</p><p>He laid his head down on my chest. I closed my eyes and listened to the sound of his breathing. It felt like paradise.</p><p>I’m so glad I said it.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This was the first fanfic I have ever written. Any and all criticism is welcome. I think i’ll continue to post more fanfics every once in a while.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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